


(1) New Message

by babyworm



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Reminiscing, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-13 08:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9115936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babyworm/pseuds/babyworm
Summary: To Seung Gil, Phichit always seemed far away and out of reach. When he realized he wouldn't be participating in the Grand Prix Final, the distance between them grew, metaphorically and physically, with Phichit now in Barcelona, and Seung Gil back in Seoul. As they both slowly take steps forward, they also look back and reminisce on their relationship with each other, and how a chance meeting on the rink developed into something else...something more.





	1. Chapter One

Phichit checked his phone for what felt like the thousandth time. No new messages. He wasn’t surprised exactly, given the circumstances, but he couldn’t deny that he was disappointed. He just wanted to hear something from him. Anything. His face fell slightly, before deciding to call Yuuri. They had made plans the night before to go exploring, but Phichit figured he either forgot or was still suffering from jetlag. He didn’t pick up, but he couldn’t wait any longer. He told Celestino that he would head out first, not wanting to miss an opportunity to take a commemorative photo in front of Barcelona’s beautiful Roman Catholic church. At this time of night, the church’s eighteen sandstone towers would be lit up in gold shining lights, and nothing could stop him from seeing it with his own eyes. His coach waved his arm in response telling him to go while sitting at a bar, and Phichit headed to the Sagrada Família.

Phichit ran to the Basilica, one hand holding his selfie stick and the other keeping his hat down on his head. The cool night air felt good on his skin, and helped clear his mind. He didn’t want to be harbor any negative feelings during his trip. He was in Barcelona. He was here with his friends and fellow competitors. He was a Grand Prix finalist. Phichit smiled to himself knowing that he got to where he was with his hard work and dedication and knew that he deserved the happiness that he felt. He just wished he could share it with a certain someone whose absence hit Phichit in a way he didn’t predict nor comprehend. 

Phichit saw the glowing outline of a church, and ran faster, excitement welling his in chest. He was here! His thoughts escaped his head and all that remained was awe. He had seen photos of the church while researching the top tourist destinations of Barcelona for his traveling itinerary, but what he saw before him was unlike any photo or pamphlet description he had read prior.

The pillars normally colored in shades of gray and tan were now glistening in every shade of gold and yellow. He pulled out his selfie stick and extended it throwing up a peace sign while snapping his photo. It was beautiful! He tried a few other angles trying to get maximum building to construction crane ratio. Though the church was famous for being unfinished, it was still a work of art. He took photos until he was satisfied, and grinned looking at the photo on his phone. Phichit once again felt a dull pain in his chest while looking at his photo. _What you doing right now, Seung Gil?_ He ignored his empty mailbox, and sent a message to Yuuri with several photos attached, telling him that he missed out, but that he should go with Victor before they returned home. 

…

 

Seung Gil sat on his sofa watching a mindless TV program. Dubu crawled onto Seung Gil’s lap and yawned as Seung Gil scratched him behind his ears. He wanted so badly to be competing in the Grand Prix Final. He kept replaying the same scene over and over again in his mind. He landed his first quad loop without a hitch, but fell on his triple axel following it. He remained calm during his fall, as he always did. He knew exactly what his weakness were as well as his strengths and calculated them into his routines. His next jumps were a triple lutz and triple toe loop. Easy. His step sequence went without any mistakes. He still had a chance. He wasn’t out of the game. Or so he thought. Despite having scored a personal best, the results of his fall were enough to knock him down to seventh place and he vowed to do better during the free skate. 

It seemed fitting that his theme was “Greed.” He had a lot of it when it came to his skating. He wanted to be the best. He wanted to take home the gold medal in every competition. He wanted to stand out. There was always someone shining brighter than him. Someone who smiled more and was more charismatic than he was. He decided to make up for what he lacked in personality, in his skating. He trained harder than ever, pushing himself to his limits, fueled by the desire to win and to prove himself to his peers. He was focused and centered, but he was mostly inspired. The core of his inspiration being none other than a charming boy from Thailand who seemed to overflow with personality effortlessly both on and off the ice.

Seung Gil always admired Phitchit as a skater and as a person. He always wanted to be noticed by him. He wanted to show him what he could do and become someone who was a worthy opponent. He just wanted to skate alongside him at the Grand Prix Final and he thought he would have the chance to do so, but during the free skate, he fell once more, losing the tiny piece of hope he had and eliminating his chances at competing in the finals. He didn’t expect the tears to fall as quickly as they did. Thankfully, his coach remained silent, without offering him sympathy, knowing that her concern would only make it harder on him. He was crushed by his defeat. He knew his results weren’t representative of his self-worth, but in that moment, he felt that what he had was just another unattainable dream. He dried his eyes and reminded himself that all his work was not in vain. He would continue to train and work hard to make it to the Olympics. He didn’t want to give up on his skating, and his chance to be close to Phichit just yet.

In an odd turn of events, Yuuri hugged him that night as well as every other person within arm’s reach. Yuuri’s closeness made him shudder with discomfort. Sara ran to Seung Gil telling him that despite his results, she was moved by his performance. He gave her a curt nod and walked away to the sounds of her annoying brother’s yelling. It wasn’t so much that he disliked her, but with her came Michele, who was far too loud. He viewed them as unnecessary distractions. He wanted to surround himself with people who were goal oriented and people who could motivate him to be a better skater. He wanted to be with Phichit.

They had competed in tournaments together in the past. When Seung Gil was eighteen, he officially met Phichit for the first time. He was bubbly and energetic, always full of laughter and light, and he was so bright, Seung Gil had to look away. Seung Gil thought that looking at him was like looking directly into the sun. When he closed his eyes, he still saw a bright afterimage and he kept seeing Phichit whether he was looking in his direction or not. His choreography flowed on the ice with grace and poise, and he glided through the air when he jumped. Seung Gil was captivated. They were the same age with similar builds and experience, but Seung Gil had a feeling that Phichit was far more skilled. Whether it was natural born talent or practice and repetition, he didn’t know, but he found himself disappointed when his routine came to an end.

Seung Gil skated a personal best that night. He landed all of his jumps and heard the roaring of the crowd. While skating he wondered if Phichit was watching him and what he thought of him. Did he think he also possessed skills beyond his years? Did his skating inspire him? Did it make him feel anything? Seung Gil skated off the ice and waited for his results. When they were announced, his coach put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a small smile. He laughed in delight and looked up to see Phichit smiling back at him giving him a personal round of applause.

“That was amazing!” He said, his cheeks rosy and eyes sparkling. Seung Gil stared at him, surprised by his sudden appearance. Phichit held his hand out and introduced himself.

 “I’m Phichit! Your quad was incredible! How old are you? Where did you learn to skate like that!” He was beaming, and Seung Gil again felt like he was staring into the sun. He hesitantly held his own hand out to meet Phichit’s who grasped it firmly shaking it up and down.

 “…Lee Seung Gil. Eighteen.” He managed to reply. He hoped his voice wasn’t shaking as much as his hands were. Phichit’s hands were warm and felt nice against his cold and clammy palms.

 “Seung Gil. I’ll remember you!” Phichit released his hand and waved as he ran back to his coach and friends. Seung Gil looked down at his hand, now warm and still. “I’ll remember you, too,” he thought. He won gold that night. Phichit coming in second place and a kind boy named Leo coming in third. After they took to the podium and had photos taken, they all congratulated each other once more before heading off in separate directions. Before Seung Gil stepped out of the arena, he heard Phichit yelling his name.

“Seung Gil! Take a picture with me!” He yelled waving his phone in the air and smiling. Seung Gil hated having his photo taken, and it probably showed on his face, but Phichit laughed and ran after him. Seung Gil suddenly felt the urge to run away so he picked up his pace and made quick glances over his shoulder to see if Phichit was gaining on him, which he was. “Seung Gil! Wait!” He didn’t even know why he was running, he could have just politely told Phichit that he didn’t like photos, but by the time this registered, he was already sprinting away from the cheerful boy running after him. He came to a stop when he almost collided with Leo who had a confused look on his face. He apologized for almost running into him when Phichit came crashing into him from behind forcing Seung Gil to fall into Leo anyway causing a fit of laughter from Phichit.

“Oh good! Leo’s here too! Let’s take a group picture!” Seung Gil had no idea how Phichit had so much energy left when he was exhausted, but it was probably the exhaustion that caused him to give in to Phichit’s request. He refused to smile, though, and Phichit held out his arm to take a group photo while Phichit and Leo made bunny ears behind his head. “Say cheese!” Phichit said . Only Leo responded. Once the shutter sounded, Phichit was satisfied at last and waved a final goodbye to the both of them.

Seung Gil went back to his hotel that night wondering what the photo looked like and if he would ever get to see it.

 

…

 

Phichit met up with his friends for dinner that night and enjoyed a feast of decadent dishes including paella, crayfish, and soup mixed with beans and chorizo. Naturally, he had to take photos of the food before they could dig in, and quickly uploaded them to his social media accounts before he even touched his food. His friends teased him saying that he catered too much to his fans and cared too much about his online presence, but his motives were a little more selfish. There was something inside him that hoped Seung Gil would see his photos and think of him. He calculated the time difference between Spain and Korea, and knew that it was still only afternoon where Seung Gil was and therefore there was a good chance he would be checking his Instagram sometime soon. He opened his inbox again hoping to see a message he somehow missed despite his volume being on full blast and the vibrate switched to “on.” Nothing. He missed him and wanted to reach out to him, but he told himself to give him space. He would wait until Seung Gil was ready to talk to him.

Phichit suddenly realized that he was starving and dug into his food in as he and his friends reminisced on Yuuri’s drunken antics at last year’s banquet. Everyone but Yuuri himself remembered the scene Yuuri made showing his pole dancing skills for the world to see and grinding on his idol turned boyfriend, Victor. No one was surprised to see that they were together. They always had a natural chemistry and bond that no one could deny. The way that Victor looked at Yuuri with tender eyes and a warm expression said what no words could. With Victor by his side, Yuuri had a certain confidence in his air that Phichit never experienced from him before. Phichit had seen a lot of different sides from Yuuri from spending so much time with him as his rink mate and best friend, but seeing him with Victor unabashedly happy made Phichit’s heart swell with joy. Yuuri was kind and strong and determined, and Phichit knew he deserved the very best and that only Victor could make Yuuri as happy as he has been in the past eight months.

Chris suddenly pointed out their matching rings and Phichit couldn’t contain his excitement screaming out to the other diners that his best friend was engaged. He couldn’t be happier for them if he tried. The smile on Yuuri’s face when he caught Victor’s eyes staring at him, was more beautiful that one hundred Sagrada Famílias. They would have celebrated all night had it not been for JJ showing up announcing his own engagement. Phichit laughed behind his palm. He enjoyed JJ’s company, but he enjoyed teasing him a little bit more. There was someone else who was usually the brunt of his teasing, but no matter what he did, Phichit just couldn’t get that someone else out of his head today. He wanted to scream like he did in the restaurant, but for entirely different reasons.

Getting close to Seung Gil was no easy feat, but Phichit always loved a challenge. He admits that he might have come on a little too strong on their first official meeting, but thought that Seung Gil needed a little pushing to come out of his shell. Seung Gil was always surprising Phichit in little ways. He didn’t expect him to sprint away from him when he asked for a photo. He didn’t expect him to crash into Leo or even agree to take a photo with him. He wasn’t smiling, but Phichit expected as much since he basically chased him down and pushed him down, but he couldn’t help but wonder what his smile would look like. Phichit made it a personal goal of his to get him to smile each time he interacted with him. He thought he was doing this out of friendship and out of a desire to get to know him better. He thought he wanted him to smile so that he could make Seung Gil see that making friends wasn’t a waste of time. He didn’t know that his smile would make his heart flip around in his body and that he would crave the slight upward turn of his lips. He also didn’t think that he would succeed as much as he did.

Over the course of their eighteenth year, they would see each other more and more as they competed in the same competitions. Phichit learned more about his personality and saw that he had an extreme aversion to women and most people in general. For some reason, Seung Gil didn’t seem to mind Phichit’s company, not that he would have left him alone if he showed as signs that he did. Phichit also learned that Seung Gil was an incredible skater. Phichit loved watching him. He was known for his jumps and lively music, and as his tentative friend and rival, he always cheered loudly for him and genuinely wanted him to succeed. When Seung Gil took to the ice, he seemed so calm and at peace, and Phichit knew that the ice was where he belonged and that the ice was a place where Seung Gil could be free.

“You better watch out for that boy! He is something else.” Celestino had told him. Phichit nodded back in agreement. _I’m always watching out for him._ After the competition, with Phichit coming in bronze, and Seung Gil unfortunately not making the podium, Phichit wanted to get his phone number. He knew he could just casually ask him for it, but was worried that Seung Gil wouldn’t want Phichit to have his number or that Phichit was again coming on too strong. Phichit didn’t worry about it for long, because when he went to talk to Seung Gil, Seung Gil grabbed Phichit’s phone from out of his hand and entered his digits himself and threw Phichit’s phone back to him before waving and stepping out of the doors. Phichit couldn’t help but laugh at his surprise and immediately sent him a message saying, “see you again soon!! :-)” His phone beeped and Seung Gil’s response lit on up on his screen, “You did well.” Phichit thought he would burst.

They exchanged messages over time after that, Phichit usually the one to initiate conversations with him, and would still only get a reply half of the time. However, on his nineteenth birthday, Seung Gil texted him first saying, “Old man.” Phichit laughed as he typed, “I’m only two months older than you!” Phichit considered Seung Gil a good friend. He had a lot of friends from other countries and continents that he met through skating, but he couldn’t deny that his feelings for Seung Gil weren’t exactly the ones he harbored for Leo or for Guang Hong. He wondered what his feelings were and if Seung Gil felt them too.

Phichit remembered a competition that took place in Korea, Seung Gil’s home turf. The biennial and international Seoul Cup taking place at the Mokdong Ice Rink. Phichit and Seung Gil hadn’t seen each other for almost a year but had been exchanging messages through KakaoTalk when they could. Phichit was excited to see Korea, there were so many places he had dreamed of going, and food he wanted to taste, but the main cause of his excitement was seeing Seung Gil again. Phichit arrived in Seoul two days prior to the competition, which he normally wouldn’t do. He wanted to sightsee and spend time with his friend. He was a little nervous about seeing him, which was uncharacteristic of him, but all of that nervousness flew away when he saw Seung Gil walking toward him, and Phichit ran to him and slung an arm over his shoulder. It was December and Seung Gil was wearing a scarf that covered his face up to his nose, which was red from the cold. When Phichit got closer, he could swear he saw a small smile on his lips.

“Let’s go explore!” Phichit yelled as he danced around the street in excitement, taking out his phone and taking pictures of anything and everything. Seung Gil grabbed his arm and dragged him to the subway station before Phichit ran off too far.

“Where are we going?” Phichit asked while he paid for his subway ticket, a round trip ticket to Jamsil.

“It’s a surprise.” Seung Gil said as he directed him to the correct platform. They got on the subway which was crowded with people also spending their Saturday with friends. Seung Gil reached up to grab the metal bar above his head to have something to hold on to and Phichit followed suit. As more passengers got on the train, they were pushed closer together, but Phichit didn’t mind. It was Winter and the heater was apparently not working on this train, so he appreciated Seung Gil’s closeness and the feeling of his scarf on his cheek. Seung Gil stared out the window and Phichit switched arms when he felt the arm he was holding up go numb. He put his other arm down and it brushed against Seung Gil’s own who didn’t move away. Phichit contemplated linking his hands with Seung Gil’s, but the thought left his mind when Seung Gil put his hand in his jacket pocket for warmth. Phichit wondered why he felt disappointed when he did so.

Seung Gil and Phichit talked about everything and anything. Or rather, Phichit did the bulk of the speaking, only pausing when Seung Gil would respond with short answers or anecdotes. They talked about their skating conditions and gave each other advice both keeping up with one another’s careers. Seung Gil asked Phichit how his knee was, and Phichit smiled grateful that his friend recalled one of his falls from earlier in the season where he landed on his knee after he over rotated on his quad toe loop. Phichit reassured Seung Gil that he was in top shape since then and would give him an ass beating on the ice this competition. Seung Gil smirked and bumped into Phichit with his shoulder who then bumped into the man next to him holding onto a railing for support. Phichit’s face went red when the man said something to him in Korean that he didn’t understand and Seung Gil couldn’t contain his laughter.

“Payback for when you shoved me into Leo.” He said though his laughter.

“Oh come on! That was like a year ago!” He whined, but he couldn’t help but laugh too. They spent the remainder of the train ride like that, close to each other and playfully bumping their shoulders against one another trying their best not to disturb the others next to them. Seung Gil pointed out buildings and bridges and parks to Phichit telling him all the places he liked to go.

“Let’s go together then!” Phichit had exclaimed. Seng Gil looked into his eyes and nodded a smile faint on his pale face.

“This is our stop.” Seung Gil said to Phichit and they departed the subway. They walked out of the station toward exit 4 and suddenly after a few minutes of walking, they had arrived.

Phichit stopped walking abruptly, his face lit up in excitement. “You took me to Lotte World!?” He jumped up and down a huge smile plastered on his face. Lotte World was like the indoor Disneyland equivalent of Korea. It was a mall, an amusement park, and most excitingly, it was the location of Korea’s largest ice skating rink all in one. He shoved Seung Gil toward the entrance with both his hands and Seung Gil finally gave Phichit a real smile with all of his teeth showing, proof of his own excitement. He and Phichit ran to the ticket booth.

 

…

 

MESSAGE TO PHICHU: What are you doi—

MESSAGE TO PHICHU: Are you nervou—

MESSAGE TO PHICHU: I miss yo—

Seung Gil deleted his message attempts and put his phone down. Soon after, his phone buzzed and Seung Gil grabbed his phone with enough speed to startle his dog. He patted his head in apology and checked his screen. It was from Sara. She just wanted to see how he was doing. He sighed, in obvious disappointment, and threw his phone back to the other side of the couch. He knew it didn’t have to complicated, he could just wish Phichit well and ask him if he was having fun. He just couldn’t bring himself to do it because he was full of jealousy and heartache over his own shortcomings. He knew he shouldn’t be taking it out on Phichit when Phichit was the one who comforted him after his results at the Rostelecom Cup, but jealousy often brought out the worst in him, and he was afraid that he’d say something he would regret later on. He genuinely wanted Phichit to succeed but he wanted to support him with all of his heart, and he felt that it was impossible to do when he was still tending his own wounds.

He turned his attention to the TV again wanting to take his mind off of everything when a commercial for Lotte World appeared, filling the screen with happy couples skating on the ice rink and families indulging themselves on overpriced food and souvenirs having the time of their lives. His heart suddenly throbbed remembering when he took Phichit to Lotte World before the Seoul Cup. Even though to Phichit it may have just been something fun to do, to Seung Gil it meant something more. He never told Phichit, but he had always dreamed of going there with someone he cared about. Phichit was that person for him whether he truly recognized it back then or not. Seeing Phichit’s face when he realized where they were going brought out a happiness in Seung Gil that he hadn’t felt in a long time. Seung Gil bought Phichit’s ticket for him and they spent the entire day riding rollercoasters and even went on the rides clearly meant for children. Phichit somehow dragged him into going on the Dream Boat ride which was basically a ride where they sat on colored boats adorned with flowers and bright lights. Phichit took hundreds of photos of just Seung Gil’s disgruntled face on the ride and his laughter filled Seung Gil with happiness.

By the end of the day they were exhausted, but neither would leave without first skating on the ice rink. By the time they entered the rink many of the visitors had left due to the fact that the park would be closing soon, so only a few other couples gathered on the ice. They had to rent skates at a tiny booth manned by a bored looking woman who forcefully dropped their boots on the counter in front of them. The skates felt uncomfortable and foreign on their feet. They laced their boots side by side on a small bench and Phichit grabbed Seung Gil’s arms to help him up before getting onto the ice. They both felt the familiarity of the cool air and slick ice beneath their feet and warmed up by skating in circles around each other. Phichit tapped his shoulder and said “you’re it!” and skated away as fast as he could and Seung Gil not being able to say no to a competition, chased after him full speed catching up to him in no time and brushed his back with a smirk on his face. Phichit’s eyes widened and chased again after Seung Gil who almost managed to escape Phichit’s grasp but was a second too slow and felt Phichit’s arm around his shoulders. Instead of running away, he stayed there huddled to Seung Gil’s side saying that he was too tired to keep playing. Seung Gil asked him if he wanted to go home, but he said no, he wanted to keep skating with him for a while longer. When Phichit’s arm dropped from his shoulders, Seung Gil was surprised that he was sad about it. He normally didn’t enjoy contact from others, but with Phichit, it was different. Phichit was always warm, though Seung Gil didn’t know whether that was due to his body temperature or the fact that whenever Phichit came near him, he would feel his face flush.

He looked down as his bare hands, forgetting his gloves at home when he left earlier that day to meet Phichit, and wished he had them to keep his hands warm. He looked at Phichit who was looking back at him, and Seung Gil surprised even himself when he reached down to grab Phichit’s hand. If Phichit was surprised, he didn’t show it, but instead intertwined his fingers with Seung Gil’s and they skated around the rink like that in comfortable silence until an employee notified them that the park was closing and that it was time for them to leave the rink. Seung Gil regrettably removed his hand from Phichit’s and they sat down on the bench to take off their skates and return them back to the booth.

The rink closed thirty minutes before the park did, and Phichit suggested that they ride one last ride before they headed back. Seung Gil expected that Phichit would suggest one of the larger rollercoasters that he seemed to enjoy earlier in the day, but what he picked made Seung Gil stop in his tracks.

“There is no way in hell I am riding that.” He said to Phichit.

They stood in front of a train ride called Fantasy Dream and despite it being for children 6 and up, the ride looked absolutely terrifying.

“Come on, Phichit! It’s our last ride of the day, and you want to go on this? I’d rather go back on that dumb boat ride!” Seung Gil glared at his friend who made a praying gesture with his hands. He was even giving him those puppy dog eyes that he knew was lethal even for a stoic guy like him.

“This is the last thing I’ll ever ask you to do! It’ll be fun! Please, Seung! Please!” They both knew that this was definitely not the last request Phichit would have for Seung Gil, but what could he do? Despite being known for turning down others time and time again, he had a weakness for Phichit, which Phichit used knowingly against him.

“Fine.” Was all he could reply with and he followed Phichit into the queue and took their seats on the ride. It was one of those rides that made you question whether the architect was high when building the ride’s interior with flashing lights and vibrant colors that should have come with an epilepsy warning. The ride began innocently enough with cheerful yet annoying flute music, but it took a disturbing turn when the train entered a tunnel full of frightening animatronic figures resembling lollipops. The lollipops had bulging eyes and grotesque smiles that showed all of their teeth. They then entered through a clown face which filled Seung Gil with even more dread, his fear of clowns holding a tight grasp onto him to this day. The boat entered a room full of jack-o-lanterns and candy cane figures again with those stupid wide eyes. Teddy bears were suddenly riding a merry-go-round and Seung Gil was sure he had lost his grasp on reality. He hated every second of it. Phichit on the other hand was having a blast, as usual, bouncing around in his hard plastic seat to the beat of the song trying his best to get Seung Gil to join in. Nothing would make Seung Gil budge on that one.

They found themselves in yet another room full of brightly colored lights, and the scenery was making him nauseous, so he instead looked at Phichit who was taking a video of their ride. The blue light from the projector hit the side of Phichit’s face which made him look like he was glowing. Seung Gil didn’t want to look away. Phichit’s dark hair fell over his eyes and Seung Gil couldn’t help himself, he reached up to Phichit’s face and brushed his hair away, expression unchanging. Phichit smiled at him and got closer to him holding up his camera to take a selfie with him. Seung Gil smiled. The shutter sounded.

“You actually look happy!” Phichit said looking at the photo. “I knew you’d love this ride!” Seung Gil rolled his eyes shoving Phichit with his shoulder again. Phichit grabbed Seung Gil’s arms and waved them around to make it look like he was dancing. Seung Gil wondered why he liked him. After their train finally made it back to the starting point, Seung Gil darted off the boat giving Phichit his iciest glare who just smiled innocently in return.

The park was closing now and the lights were turning off one by one. They were ushered toward the exit by the remaining employees and Phichit repeatedly told Seung Gil how much fun he had. “Best date ever!” he said which made Seung Gil blush underneath his scarf. _Was this a date?_ He didn’t know the answer to that, but he didn’t mind the thought of going on a date with Phichit. He didn’t have much experience with dating (or any, for that matter) but he was sure that this would probably classify as a best date for him, too. They sat side by side on the subway that night, the train quiet and calm with just a few other passengers scattered about. Phichit complained that he was sleepy, and let his head fall onto Seung Gil’s shoulders. He felt Phichit touching his hand, and smiled as Phichit slipped his fingers through his own. He heard the sounds of Phichit’s breathing even out, and he knew that he had fallen asleep. Seung Gil stayed awake, not wanting to miss their stop, and rested his head on top of Phichit’s for the rest of the ride home.

The boys performed terribly at the Seoul Cup. Both being exhausted and sore from their long day at the amusement park the day before. They both received verbal beatings from their coaches telling them to prioritize their time better, and even though it did hurt his pride having fallen on a double axel, he couldn’t say that he regretted going. In fact, he thought he might even do it again. Phichit was right about one thing, though, he did beat his ass, even if it was only by a small margin.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

It was getting late, and JJ’s arrival meant everyone’s departure. The others were saying that they better go back to their hotels to get some rest for tomorrow’s competition. Phichit walked with Yuri who was saying how stuffed he was. They looked ahead and saw Victor’s arm around Chris, the two of them laughing about something Chris had done at the pool earlier that day. Yuri looked at Phichit, concern washed over his face, and quietly asked him if he was okay. 

“I’m fine, Yuri, really! I’m so happy for you and Victor! I can’t believe you’re getting married!” Phichit hugged his best friend. Yuri hugged him back but didn’t seem convinced.

“Thanks, Phichit, for always supporting me. I don’t think you understand how much it means to me. I want to support you too, though, and I’m sure that whatever is bothering you, if you just talked to Seung Gil, you two would figure it out.” Yuri looked at him with an earnest look on his face.

“Yeah, I know— wait, how did you know I was worried about Seung Gil?” Phichit looked at his best friend startled. It really was hard trying to hide things from him.

“You do realize that your Instagram is public, right? It’s pretty obvious…and that hashtag…what was it…SeungChuChu? It’s so cute, Phichit! It’s obvious that you would be worried about him when he couldn’t be here with us.” Yuri patted Phichit’s back.

 “You really liked the hashtag?” Phichit said winking at Yuri who laughed in return. “Can you tell Seung Gil how genius it is? He always wants me to delete photos of us!” Phichit whined playfully while linking his arm with Yuri’s as they walked. Phichit missed Yuri when they weren’t together. After spending so much time together in Detroit, when Yuri suddenly moved back home to have Victor coach him, his absence in the rink was palpable. With Yuri, Phichit felt at ease. He was thankful that he had found such a great friend.

“Have you talked to him since…the cup?” Yuri asked him, hesitantly, not knowing if the answer was the reason Phichit seemed so down on the trip he had been looking forward to since their days in Detroit. Phichit looked down, a sad expression on his face, and Yuri knew the answer.

 “I might have been too naïve.” Phichit said still with his eyes on the sidewalk. “Just wanting something isn’t enough to make it happen.” The two of them walked in contemplative silence as they both thought about the things they wanted that seemed so far out of reach.

They parted ways when they returned to the hotel a little later than the others, and Yuri hugged Phichit goodbye, “It’ll work out,” he said before running toward Victor who was waiting for him in the lobby. Phichit waved back and headed toward the elevator to his room. He wanted to believe Yuri when he said that things would work out between Seung Gil and him. He dug his cardkey out of his pocket and inserted it in the slot on the door and entered the room quietly not wanting to disturb his coach. Ciao Ciao was fast asleep in the bed next to his, his breath smelling of alcohol. Phichit took off his shoes and sat on his bed, back against the wall. He hesitated whenever it came to Seung Gil because of how much he cared for him. After Seung Gil found out that he wouldn’t be able to compete in the Grand Prix Final, he shut himself away from the world and away from Phichit. In an attempt to say something to comfort him, Phichit called him. He was tormented by the idea that his words somehow hurt him instead, and that Seung Gil realized that he didn’t want anything to do with him. He pushed the home button on his phone and saw messages from his family and a notification for the group chat with Leo and Guang Hong. They were all wishing him well. He smiled and typed responses to them and hit send. He hit the home button again and it took him to his home screen which was a photo of the skyline in Seoul that he had taken not long ago. He thought about his most recent trip to Korea while he lay in bed with his eyes closed. 

After Phichit took home the gold medal at the Cup of China, he was elated. He hugged Celestino who patted his back as proud father would, but he looked into Ciao Ciao’s eyes and told him, “I need to go somewhere, but I’ll be back by tonight.” His coach had a look of concern, but trusting Phichit, he told him to go, but to not miss their morning flight. Phichit nodded and grabbed his backpack heading to the lockers to change his clothes and take off his skates. What he was about to do was reckless, but he felt that it needed to be done. He already had his plane ticket, it was all taken care of. The idea came to him a few months prior to the event and he texted Seung Gil and asked him what he thought. The China cup was held in Shanghai which would only be an hour and fifty minute’s flight to Gimpo. He knew that right now was crunch time for Seung Gil who would be participating in the Rostelecom Cup in the following week, but thought maybe he would be able to see him for just one night, or even a few hours. Seung Gil agreed to meet with him, and that was that. 

Phichit knew that he had feelings for Seung Gil and he wanted Seung Gil to know how much he cared for him. Over the few years that he had known him, his feelings only got stronger. The distance didn’t matter to Phichit, they were constantly traveling as it was and they had already gotten this far. He hadn’t seen Seung Gil in almost a year since the Seoul Cup, and he wanted so badly to be near him. Seung Gil’s work ethic motivated him to be a better skater and a better person. He knew that Seung Gil appeared stoic, but his passion for the sport was irrefutable. Beneath his cool exterior was a boy who hated vegetables, a boy who distanced himself from others to focus on his personal goals, a boy who hated having his photo taken, a boy who loved animals, a boy with a pitiful wardrobe, and a boy whom Phichit loved. He never said any of this to anyone before, but he knew it to be true. He knew from the tingling in his stomach when Seung Gil held his hand, and he knew from the sheer happiness he felt when Seung Gil smiled just for him. He didn’t care if no one else saw what he saw in Seung Gil, in fact, he liked being the only one who could make him feel comfortable. So he made plans to see him. 

He sat in the plane running a finger over his gold medal, proof of his hard work and passion. He wanted no one else to share this moment with him than Seung Gil. The flight was short, Phichit looked at his phone and saw that it was 8:30. He wouldn’t have a lot of time to spend with Seung Gil knowing that he had early practice, and that he has his own flight to catch. A message popped up from Seung Gil, “I’m outside.” His heart raced and he made his way to the doors. He spotted Seung Gil right away, and hurried over to him. Phichit threw his arms around him, and Seung Gil stiffened, but relaxed a second later, gingerly putting his own arms around Phichit.

“Hi,” Phichit breathed.

“Congratulations,” he replied.

Phichit wished he could stay like that for a while longer, but he knew the PDA would make Seung Gil uncomfortable, so he dropped his arms and said, “I’m hungry.” As if on cue, his stomach grumbled, and Seung Gil grinned, “Follow me.” Phichit happily obliged.

They found themselves at a modest mom and pop barbecue restaurant, and Seung Gil ordered for them both. The owner was happy to see Seung Gil who apparently frequented the spot often, and she gave them a complimentary bottle of soju. Seung Gil explained that it would be rude to not accept, and poured them both a shot. Phichit had never had soju before, but they clinked their glasses together and drank it down. It was peach flavored and delicious, Phichit grinned, feeling the happiest he had ever been.

“So you watched my performance?” He asked Seung Gil with his eye brows raised.

 “Of course I did.” Was all he said.

 “What did you think?” Phichit asked him, moving closer to his face.

 “You over rotated on your last jump.”

 Phichit pouted at Seung Gil’s response which made Seung Gil laugh.

 “I’m kidding. You were…amazing.” Seung Gil said softly, shyly pouring them another round. Seung Gil had watched the TV screen intently as Phichit landed two quad toe loops, and a triple flip, single loop, and double flip combination. He didn’t know he was holding his breath until after Phichit landed on the ice effortlessly.

Phichit broke out into sweet laughter and realized just how far he had fallen.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” Seung Gil said to Phichit, cutting up the meat sizzling on the grill in front of them.

“I know! I can’t believe I’m here either! I was just on an ice rink in China a few hours ago and now I’m here having barbecue with you. It’s so strange, and yet, it feels so normal.” Phichit shooed Seung Gil’s hand away so that it wouldn’t get in the picture he was trying to take of the meat on the grill. Seung Gil rolled his eyes and purposefully kept trying to get in the way of his photo. Seung Gil put some of the cooked meat onto Phichit’s plate and watched his face in anticipation when he took his first bite. His eyes widened as he chewed and he enthusiastically gave Seung Gil two thumbs up. Seung Gil laughed and gave him more meat before putting some on his own plate.

“It does…feel normal. Having you here, I mean.” Seung Gil didn’t look at Phichit when he said it out of embarrassment. He stared down at his food instead. “I wish you could stay.” He said the last part so softly that Phichit wondered if he even said it at all, but the redness on his face gave the answer away to that and Phichit put his chopsticks down and blurted, “I really like you!”

Seung Gil just stared at Phichit, his mouth slightly open and his face completely red now, and seemed to be at a loss for words. Phichit rubbed the back of his neck realizing what he had just said and seemed to wonder if he should have said it at all. Seung Gil grabbed the soju bottle and downed whatever was left while Phichit just stared at him in disbelief. Seung Gil slammed the bottle on the table and said, “No! I like you!” and he pointed his finger in Phichit’s face who was now laughing realizing that Seung Gil was the world’s greatest light weight. Phichit wouldn’t stop laughing not believing how cute Seung Gil was. Seung Gil was getting angry at his reaction to his confession so he grabbed some meat with his chopsticks and stuffed it into Phichit’s mouth to shut him up.

“Ajumma! Another round!” Seung Gil said to the store owner who laughed and grabbed another bottle of soju for them from the fridge. When Phichit was finally done chewing, he just stared at Seung Gil who was staring back. 

“I’m glad I came.” Phichit said to him.

“Eat.” Seung Gil said.

 By the time they left the restaurant, it was already ten o’clock. Phichit knew he should be heading back soon for his flight, but he didn’t want to leave. Seung Gil drank enough to get rid of his inhibitions and Phichit was enjoying every moment spent with him. They decided to go for a walk around the city before making their way to the airport. Seung Gil wanted to take Phichit somewhere, so they walked side by side, shoulders touching until they got to the top of a grassy hill that overlooked the city below. It was dark and the city lights shone brightly all around them. Phichit took out his phone to take a photo of tall buildings and lights and snuck some photos of Seung Gil who was looking out in the distance with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Phichit walked over to him and put his arm around him.

Seung Gil turned to look at Phichit and pulled him into a hug. Seung Gil was a few centimeters taller than Phichit and Phichit put his head on Seung Gil’s shoulder.

“I’m taller than you.” Seung Gil said to him.

“By like five centimeters!” Phichit said in disdain, voice muffled by his face being smooshed into Seung Gil’s shoulder.

“I’m proud of you.” He said softly.

Phichit held him tighter.

“I meant what I said at the restaurant,” Phichit said to Seung Gil looking up to meet his gaze.

“I know. Me too.” Seung Gil said, pulling away a little, smiling softly.

Phichit moved his arms from around Seung Gil’s waist to around his neck and pulled him in for a soft kiss. Seung Gil was taken by surprise, but gradually put his hands on the small of Phichit’s back and let his eyes close, tilting his head to kiss him back. Phichit thought Seung Gil’s lips tasted faintly of peaches. They pulled away from each other and before Seung Gil could process what was going on, he felt Phichit’s lips on his cheek and heard the sound of Seung Gil’s camera.

Phichit laughed and ran with his phone above his head. Being with Seung Gil was always like being in a game of tag. No matter where Phichit went, Seung Gil was sure to follow closely behind. Seung Gil laughed and chased him down the hill, catching up to Phichit and putting his head in a headlock.

“Ow ow!” Phichit mocked pain and when he felt Seung Gil’s grip loosed from around him in concern, Phichit took the opportunity to jump on Seung Gil piggy-back style, who quickly recovered and tightened his hold around Phichit’s legs and ran with Phichit screaming with laughter on his back.

“You’re heavy!” Seung Gil yelled at him, but continued to carry Phichit to end of the park where he dropped him, out of breath.

“You could say I’m worth my weight in gold.” Phichit said, slapping a palm to Seung Gil’s back.

“Fool’s gold.” Seung Gil replied. 

“He’s got jokes!” Phichit said laughing. “Come on, it’s getting late, take me to the airport.”

“Not on my back.” Seung Gil said, dodging Phichit’s attempts to climb back on him. They walked slowly to the airport, neither one of them wanting the other to go, but in time, they reached their destination.

“I’ll see you soon.” Phichit said to Seung Gil. “In Barcelona.” 

Seung Gil cracked a smile. “Barcelona,” he repeated.

Phichit gave Seung Gil another hug, and rushed off to meet catch his plane. Seung Gil stood there watching him go, a fluttering feeling in his chest.

Phichit was heartbroken when he saw the results of the Rostelecom Cup on TV, but he knew that whatever sadness he felt, Seung Gil was feeling tenfold. He struggled to find the words to say to Seung Gil. He wanted to comfort him, to hold him, but the words, “it will be okay,” seemed superficial, and meaningless coming from him. He wanted Seung Gil to know that he was thinking about him, that he was proud of him, too. He typed out numerous messages that all ended up being deleted. Was he crying? Was he keeping it together? Was someone else comforting him? Phichit felt his own eyes water. He typed out a message. He hit send. He called him and left a voicemail. He never heard back.

 

…

 

Phichit woke up to bright light flooding his hotel room and an overeager Celestino telling him to hurry up and shower and get ready to go to the rink. Phichit realized he fell asleep in his clothes from the night before, clutching his phone to his chest. It was competition day. He obeyed Celestino’s orders and hopped in the shower reminding himself to stay focused and driven. He didn’t come this far to blow it over his emotions. He had to keep everything in check, he had to keep his eye on the prize.

“Sorry, Yuri, but it looks like your wedding will have to be postponed. I’m winning this today.” He said to himself. He took a few deep breaths, composed himself, and went through his routine in his head. He wanted this more than anything and he would give it all that he had. The warm water helped ease his mind and he felt rejuvenated from the warm steam. He took a few deep breaths and opened his eyes. He was ready. Mostly. The nerves were still present; there was a lot of pressure that came from being the only Thai skater to qualify for the Grand Prix, but what he felt was excitement as well. Skating was all that he knew. His love for the sport drove him to leave his home to skate under Celestino’s wing all the way in Detroit, and after enduring long, grueling practice sessions, he was finally able to make it back to his hometown of Bangkok this past year. The support of his friends and family had been immense, and Phichit was always grateful for the people he had in his life. He toweled himself off and put on some clothes, making himself look presentable. He smiled at himself in the mirror.

“Let’s go!” He yelled to Celestino who grinned at him in return. The two of them left the room, the door closing behind them and headed to the rink.

 

…

 

Seung Gil woke up groggy, his dog curled up beside him. He looked at his phone. It was almost time for the Grand Prix Final to begin. He slowly got up and brushed his teeth, looking up at himself in the mirror. He looked terrible. He had a hard time sleeping that night feeling nervous for Phichit, wanting to be there skating alongside him. He felt knots in his stomach and pangs of jealousy. _Would Phichit even want to be with someone like me?_ He sat on his couch and turned on the TV, the commentators speaking about the contestants and what the viewers could expect to see on the ice. The camera zoomed in on the families of the skaters who were all holding signs and cheering loudly. The camera shifted its focus on the first skater. Katsuki Yuri. The camera then panned to a shot of Victor smiling serenely. Seung Gil first thought that their relationship was just a publicity stunt. A former world class skater turned coach and a skater who just couldn’t catch a break. It was what movies were made out of. He soon realized that he was wrong, that their love real as seen by the quick glances they stole at each other, and the smiles they shared. Yuri was a talented skater, Seung Gil had to admit. Though he lacked consistency, he was strong, with lots of stamina, and an ability even Yuri himself seemed to be unaware of. He watched as he landed his quad salchow and triple toe loop. His quad flip ended with his hand on the ice. His routine ended and his disappointment was palpable. Yuri did well, but anyone could tell he wasn’t satisfied with his results 

Suddenly Seung Gil’s phone went off, and he flinched, started. He looked at the screen. _Ugh. Sara again._ He thought about ignoring her call but knew she probably wouldn’t give up until she got a hold of him. He hit accept.

“Stop calling me.” He said, ready to hang up.

“Seung Gil! Are you watching?” She screamed so he could hear her, the crowd erupting around her.

“Of course I’m watching, don’t be stupid.” He said.

“Phichit’s going on soon, you know. He looked nervous. I know you haven’t really talked to anyone since…well… maybe just wish him good luck or something? If he doesn’t do well, it’s on you! You want him to succeed, don’t you?”

Seung Gil hear a muffled voice next to her, undoubtedly her twin brother. “Sara! Who are you talking to?”

“I’m hanging up.” He said.

“Wait! Seung—“

He hit end, and threw his phone down. _Why is it on me? Why would it be my fault?_ _Of course I want Phichit to win…of course I do._

“Ahghghh!!” Seung Gil covered his head with his hands and Dubu licked his face. “I’m being dumb, aren’t I?”

Dubu barked in response.

He grabbed his phone and quickly tapped his message icon. His hands were shaking again, just like the first time he met Phichit. Why was he taking out his frustrations in himself on the boy who meant so much to him? When Seung Gil had been at his lowest point, Phichit texted him right away telling him that although he couldn’t pretend to understand what he was going through, he would wait patiently for Seung Gil to do what he needed whether that meant time or someone to talk to. Phichit had also left a short voicemail that Seung Gil hadn’t even listened to. He was worried Phichit would apologize or offer his sympathy and Seung Gil couldn’t bear to hear it from him. He didn’t want Phichit to apologize for making the cut when he couldn’t. He hated others feeling sorry for him. He had to listen to what he had said to him. He opened his voicemail inbox and hit “play.”

“Seung…I just…remember that time we rode the subway together after Lotte World and I fell asleep on your shoulder? Well I was just pretending to sleep because I wanted to be closer to you…and when you put your head on mine and we just stayed that way for the rest of the ride? Well my neck really hurt after that, your head is so big and heavy! …That’s not what I wanted to say…I know I said I’d give you space, but can’t I just tell you how much you mean to me? I hope that’s okay. I hope you know that no matter what…I want you to know that I love you. Also I had a bad neck cramp that entire competition in Seoul and I blame you for that! Bye.”

Seung Gil stared dumbstruck at his phone after taking it away from his ear. _He was just pretending to sleep? What!? Wait, what? Did he say he loved…me?_ Seung Gil wiped his face. When did he start crying? All that time he was avoiding Phichit’s voicemail thinking he was disappointed, or sad that Seung Gil hadn’t made it, and the boy just wanted to tell him that he loved him. He was an idiot. The program on the TV returned after the commercial break and they were talking about Phichit’s stats throughout the season. There wouldn’t be much time before his program began.

Seung Gil quickly typed a message to Phichit hoping he would see it before he entered the rink. He turned up the volume on his TV and commentator announced his name, “Phichit Chulanont from Thailand.” Seung Gil felt his heartbeat quicken. _Phichit loves me._ He watched as Phichit made his way onto the ice looking like a prince in his red and gold attire. His tanned skin shining with the contrasting colors, and his dark hair swept to the side. His music began, and Seung Gil held his dog close, not feeling like he could watch without some support. The audience clapped along to his lively music. Triple axel. Nailed it! Seung Gil shot up in his seat, still holding his dog in his arms. Triple lutz, triple toe loop. Perfect! Seung Gil screamed, “Yes!” Quad toe loop. He made it look so easy! Seung Gil bounced around, not being able to stand still. His dog wiggled out of his grasp. Seung Gil watched intently, his eyes glued to the screen. Phichit struck his ending pose. It was flawless. Seung Gil clapped throwing his arms in the air.

“Dubu! Did you see that?” His dog cocked his head to the side and stuck his tongue out.

The camera showed Phichit’s reaction to finishing his routine, his eyes tearing up and his hands covering his face. Seung Gil’s eyes teared up, too. The commentators spoke about how amazing Phichit was and how his energy lit up the entire venue. The TV panned over to the kiss and cry where Phichit was shown with hamster plushes. He was in second place scoring a 95.73, his own personal best. Seung Gil was so happy for him. He watched as Phichit pulled his phone out and snapped a selfie with his coach, throwing up a peace sign. His phone immediately buzzed, and Seung Gil pulled his phone out to see the photo of Phichit and Celestino on his home screen. Seung Gil laughed, not believing that Phichit had sent a picture to him while being broadcasted on international television. The program went to another commercial break and his phone buzzed again. He answered.

“Hello?”

“I saw your message before I went on the ice! You can’t just say that before I skate, do you know how distracting it was? I could have fallen!”

“But you didn’t. You were perfect.” Seung Gil said.

“Thank you. I miss you.” 

“I’m sorry for shutting you out. You didn’t deserve it. I was being stupid.” Seung Gil ran his hands over Dubu’s fur.

“I was worried that what I said to you scared you away.” Phichit said softly.

“Well now you know the truth.” Seung Gil said, starting to feel embarrassed.

“I still can’t believe you would just text me that you loved me before I went on! You’re evil!” Phichit was laughing, and it filled Seung Gil with happiness.

“But it’s true.” Seung Gil said.

“SHALLLL WEEEEE DATE?????” Phichit sang to the tune of the music he chose for his short program. Seung Gil laughed so hard he almost choked.

“AH! I can’t believe I said that! I have to go!” 

“Why are you embarrassed? You’re the one that said it! You’re making me embarrassed!” 

“I know!” Phichit covered his face with his hands. “I really do have to go, though, I want to watch Yurio. Talk to you soon, though?” 

“Yeah.” Seung Gil said. 

“Okay…love you.” Phichit said, suddenly feeling shy.

“Love you, too.” Seung Gil said quietly. 

“HAHA! YOU LOVE ME!” Phichit yelled into the phone.

Seung Gil hung up on him. He sank to his knees and held his phone to his chest smiling. 

_Phichit loves me. I love him._

 

…

 

“Wow, this place is way prettier in real life than in the photos you posted on Instagram.” Seung Gil said looking up at the twinkling lights and towers.

“Right? Isn’t it beautiful?” Phichit said, taking more photos from all angles.

“Maybe it’s because you were in all of your photos, completely obstructing the view.” Seung Gil said smirking at Phichit, who rolled his eyes and pushed him in response. 

“I am the view.” Phichit said.

“Right. I’m sure thousands of people come to this exact location to see you, and not the Sagrada Família.” Seung Gil said walking around the enormous church.

“Not thousands. Millions!” Phichit shoved the brochure in Seung Gil’s face, finger hovering over the exact words. “Three million, in fact. You’re just one of three million people who want to see me,” Phichit said throwing his arm around Seung Gil’s shoulders.

“Where are all of your adoring fans right now then?” Seung Gil asked him.

“Gone. I told them to leave because there’s only one who matters to me.” Phichit said kissing Seung Gil’s cheek. 

“Is that so?” Seung Gil asked him. “Must have been hard for you.” He said as he grinned and wrapped his arms around Phichit.

“Wasn’t so bad…he’s beautiful.” Phichit said inching toward Seung Gil whose eyes softened and fluttered closed, his heartbeat reacting to the touch of their lips, and Phichit’s arms pulling him in closer with the soft glow of lights behind them contrasting the darkening sky.

“He’s also obstructing the view.” Phichit said to Seung Gil who laughed.

“Forget the view.” Seung Gil said pulling him in again.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all of your kind words <3 Really makes me so happy! Here's to Season2 hopefully giving these two fools some interaction!

**Author's Note:**

> My second attempt of a fic. I have fallen into #SeungChuChu hell and I can’t get up. I am always so happy to see so much SeungChuChu fanart! It makes me feel less alone in this rare pair who have zero interaction. I’m glad I’m not alone.
> 
> Dubu means Tofu in Korean! I always thought it would be a cute dog name ha. 
> 
> As far as I know, the Seoul Cup is not an actual skating competition, but the Mokdong Skating rink is home to many skating competitions in Seoul. 
> 
> If you wanted to go on the virtual tour of the ride they went on at Lotte World, you can watch this disturbing video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyH8IKSTdAQ 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Next chapter will be up soon!


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